Bloody Sex: The Rebuttal


Mario is afraid of his own colour.

With routine vulgarity—this one clearly written in a drunken stupor—he has produced an ill-advised diatribe suggesting we neglect (nay, outright ignore!) a regularly occurring biological event that only reflects on sex when it is not occurring.

Congrats again, Mario: this—combined with your distaste for ugly waitresses and your belief that only single mothers in dark rooms should listen to Adele—will surely have launched you to the front ranks of forward-thinking men the world over.

You’re the accused murderer who pleads not guilty, and who, when he takes the stand, accidentally testifies as to his own guilt.


This is a time of respect for your girl.”

Mario (less that 100 words later):

A man needs output and that’s just the way it is. Fellatio. Yeah I said it.”

This is less to illustrate that so called “bloody sex” is not the taboo act that Mario is insisting and more just a representation of how deeply, deeply conflicted he is about where he stands on any one topic. But to be clear: he’s a misogynist.

Bottom line on bloody sex is as follows: if the lady doesn’t mind then it’s all-systems-go. In fact, most menstruating women experience an elevated libido during Mario’s dreaded five-day period (no pun intended). So no reason to deprive her of a little loving if she’s up to it.

Mario further evidences his own ignorance by addressing what is obviously a male component (big surprise).

What it comes down to here is it’s not the dude’s call—it’s nature’s.

Luigi out.

Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *